with my held up time

i sit in line

and question these things

but i never decide

should in the end i survive

remember that i

was the one that swallowed

my existence in line

i pray for these streets to flood

with all my worries and all my blood

and all the things that weigh me down

and all the noise and all the sound

it's like rivets to my head

i'm chippin away at myself again

to fall into the pressured tank

is to fall into hell

should i decide

these lines

these things

these i did to survive

should in find crucify me

i will live not in the fear of my eternal god

instead in the embrace of my inner child

my inner wild

my inner hell and heaven

sex and love

dirty fucking midnight

made to be more

than the cheap liquor holding open my door

come in and learn to love me

like an addiction

to a predilection

for destruction

learn to fall into the pattern

the swallowing months

and swelling heat of a non-existence