with my held up time

i sit in line

and question these things

but i never decide

should in the end i survive

remember that i

was the one that swallowed

my existence in line

i pray for these streets to flood

with all my worries and all my blood

and all the things that weigh me down

and all the noise and all the sound

it's like rivets to my head

i'm chippin away at myself again

to fall into the pressured tank

is to fall into hell

should i decide

these lines

these things

these i did to survive

should in find crucify me

i will live not in the fear of my eternal god

instead in the embrace of my inner child

my inner wild

my inner hell and heaven

sex and love

dirty fucking midnight

made to be more

than the cheap liquor holding open my door

come in and learn to love me

like an addiction

to a predilection

for destruction

learn to fall into the pattern

the swallowing months

and swelling heat of a non-existence

livin in the dark age

ragin across the river i carved out your eyes

lyin like love running down my chin

from my lips to my chest

to the rest of bodiless soul

light dries up to become colder with sleepin dreams

the ocean's alive

the ocean's alive

the ocean's in my eyes and i see so much more

than what we planned to ask for

planned to grasp for

planned to be the architect of you dreams and all your lies

livin the dark age

i'm dryin beneath the moon

i'm dyin beneath your noon

i'm lyin down to drink in the temple

to sink in beneath it

to fall harder like the blood comin

from your cracked skull

i see these things

i feel these wings

i am so beneath

the capacity of aquatic comprehension

i am the plague

i am the antidote

i am your best friend

i am everything

biding my time

like city lights in my twirling eyes

finalize and recognize that these

words are made to compromise

the weakness i hold at our base

i face my fears and hold dear to my own flesh

wear it like it actually belongs to me

find myself questioning the stability

and reality and reliability of my own deciding eyes

these ties that bind

these things that blind

these torn up lies

i'm livin it up fast

fuck my past

and rockin out like it's my last

night in town

like i'm fucking rick james

and hemingway

in some twist of anger sex frustration and love

holding fast to my moral foundation

and holding faster to the flood i find

breaking these binds

removing these blinds

impact gun

the choir sings

fallen bits of all your memories

the shattered eyes

i didn't have a chance to recognize

don't talk that way

it was all just a mistake

how can you question this world

without me in your way

hardcase headache

you're driving me mad with light

i sleep in circles and talk in time

you should stay here tonight

bellowing sky

i hear the crack fall deep

alternate between

your days and your sleep

pages tear from hazy eyes

you're a child without a voice

the coast rises in time

it's a rhythm without noise

hardcase headache

you're driving me mad with light

i sleep in circles and talk in time

you should stay here tonight

if i'm not alright, i'll stay outside

with the fire and the sky

baby sing your lullaby

i promise it'll all be fine

if i was awake to tell you goodbye

the quake wouldn't settle less

if i was away when you decided fly

i'm sure that it'd still be a mess

i'm not the right man

i'm not the right man

i'm speaking just to stand

so stay here tonight

everything shifts

feel the emotion run

and fall off my skin

like sweat/blood/tears

consumed by the fears of indecision

left here to stand as guard

left here as bait

left here to drive the flood

back faster and faster

till the shoreline's past her

and into the water's edge along my eyes

call it in and fire up and upon it

the gritting

the gripping

the fits and the ranting

psychotic shots to your neck

eat your poison

eat your cure

eat your heart/mind/soul

eat yourself

wake up and walk amongst the dead

walking in the iris of the hollow

i am delivered

i am saved

i am salvaged and depraved

left behind to look

into your crumbling mirrors

held by handles at arms length

held by handles to keep

the heat off your face

let it run up your veins

like God and division

i'm asking to be taken

to be forsaken and forgiven

exiled and excommunicated

eradicated and loved

loved like religion and angry truths

the extremes i chose to live in

the seeds i chose to swallow

hoping to grow a tree from within

up and out of my skin

maybe i'll make some sense

when the time passes

when the sun sets

and i'm walking in between everything

the strings and words on the map

taken aback

taken back

torn and slack

you're holding onto the river

you're holding back

you're carving out your island

you're fucked

but you're free

and nothing is more powerful than that

subaqueous

i shallowly whisper

watching the stars come down from my ceiling

lost in the reflection on the walls

losing grip of either this reality or that

breathe in with touching lips

inhale the perfumed exietence

beneath the water, my breathless kiss

drowning fast in this moment

i drop myself off in the dark

wading waters

drinking in psychotic paralysis

i hear my name

it's not the same

can i be better than the design?

and yet another

but i can try

reside inside my head

her voice is echoing

silencing the ill spoken

and the darker plague

i am to be here

days move in waves

breaking the ceramic cast

fuck the haze

just want your lips to last

taking apart the need to breathe

and burning like sunlight

from the setting that's passed

i feel my eyes sew up

uncut

practical practicing

fracturing the rhymes

running on the ceiling

revealing itself

like lily white adjectives

made to be cognitive

something's wrong with it

burning backwards like statues in Moscow

totalitarian

scary and better than

the natural feelings of imprisonment

saved face

taken at a more solid pace

i'm waking up backwards

into the revisions of peace

i prepared for practical measures

made up my mind

to make believe

in all the things

i said i could never give in to

fear nothing

walking streets in dark shrouds

speaking like clouds

soft and heavy with rain

it fears itself

spoken in idiotic wars

waves its gun in the face

of my cellular destruction

i am not to be the deity

you fell back on in the

darker hours of the eclipse

i am simply memories and melodies

and all the expendabilities

of the fury that doused itself

in fire and gasoline

living somewhere left between

the place i slept in the music

and the more beautiful mosaic

take it, wear and break it past acidic

tell this to taciturn statues

and granite lights

tell it like tales and lies

falling from rained out skies

in what we left after the wars

of worlds and words

and whirling hells held high

over your own smiles

and mile long lies of envy and sin

burn it to twisted sticks and tinder

the tender words i blew up

in the succession of a process

speak of this when i'm past gone

and taken along the rivers and shores

unsure of the life and the death

that dug itself deeper than the parasitic

dreams and the schemes

and the scenes and the fiends

and the fiction you wrote

out of your subconcious diction

just to make this life be more

than blank canvas

remember who ran this into the ground

remember who wrote this without a sound

and write this out

in syllables for the blind

and the burning

somewhere lost

like apologies beneath me

i'm like lip locked dropped

and running for cover

from the love burning

and running up out of the hands

of an all too human god

misquote the misdirection

feed off these imperfections

eat me alive and treat me right

i'm like burning skulls in your eyes

in the end

i'm burning this to the ground

to reap something new out of the ashes

Written at roughly 2 am during a storm

there're worlds buried beneath

sand and lightning

there i lie my words to rest

in the fury of the storm

i watch you move silently

between claps of thunder

i watch you move between the rain

i watch you move with lightning in your eyes

and fire in your skin

this backlit world i made

with carved stone and burning lights

here i lie my words to rest

here i lie with my heart in my hand

to pump this place full of life

and the audacity i held

like sand on a shore

whispers worded in

the way she moves

her fingers along my skin

i'm walking in darker lights

passing idioms & pillars of foundation

they're inconsequential

as i move forward

captivated by the burning star before me

moving between strings

and speaking in softer lyrics

climbing over stars in fuller skies

climbing out of myself

and trying to be better

than the shadow i was before

i'm drowning in your eyes

i'm intoxicated from the million kisses

i left marked on your skin

i fall in a curled motion

twisting like smoke against the night

moving with the pacing beat of my heart

i see you

standing in shy light

burning up like music and motion

burning up like abrasive stars

and i'm enveloped

wrapped up and lost

the water laps onto the shore

it's the edge of my mind

the end of my dreams

i'm waiting for simple things

i found you while blindfolded and mute

i found you without looking

playing my piano of wicker and light

and rusted fire

i'm waking up in colored mists

drinking in confusion like blood out of air

is today the day the world ends?

or tomorrow do i reap your reckoning?

wondering when and again

and where is this answer to the fatal question

strain your voice

and whisper the words once more

i'm falling in love with the world

i'm begging you stay